Little did I know that the 4 and 5 cups of coffee I was imbibing to stay awake during non-writing hours was the beverage that was nourishing my little daughter. Yes, somehow in all of that madness of NaNoWriMo 2012 I conceived and still managed to win last year.
This year?? Well, my little daughter is 3-months old and a bundle of joy! I also went back to work the week before NaNo began. Then, to top it all off, we had a TB scare in our household -- yeah, all in the last few weeks. These are not excuses. I know I can force myself to get the words down but I am still feeding my daughter on demand and sleeping on average 4 - 5 hours a day. I can take the lessons I learned from last year and put them to work with my new and now very full schedule.
Half the time I'm so tired I could cry. The other half I'm being pulled in 50 directions for work, pumping 2-3 times a day, my teenage children, my dear hubby, the commute, my family, my desire/need to write, my friends and Tupperware. I've also realized that I have severe Baby Brain. How do I know this? I walk from one room in my home to another and cannot recall why I've come into the room? I used to be able to recall things for several days, sometimes weeks, and would be able to get things done from a mental list in my head. Not anymore! So, EverNote is my best friend!
So far, I've written just over 5700 words for Book 2 of my paranormal cop thriller for NaNo this month. I sit here and type away as my daughter lays next to me cooing and munching on my hair and her pacifier alternately. I stare down at her and something inside of me breaks down. I smile and realize that this year I have to give myself some slack.
There are priorities and necessities in life and then there are newborn babies. I think I bit off more than I could chew this year by attempting to take on NaNoWriMo. It was tough last year and it was just my teenagers and I. They told me they didn't talk to me at all during November. I was just a writing zombie. Now, I guess I'm just a zombie. :-)
Okay, baby's getting restless and beginning to cry. I'll wrap up and say that as a writing new mother I have to take one day at a time. I have to make room in my life for the written word but it cannot consume me as I have a very little person who depends upon me for everything. NaNoWriMo will be here for many years to come but these months are fleeting and precious.
I officially am not trying to finish NaNo this year. I'm going to let myself forgive myself and wait to try again next year.
Wishing all my WriMo friends endless word strings and sated muses.
|My littlest angel...|